When Life Happens: Embracing the Journey and Finding Grace in the Midst of Chaos

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it. One moment, you’re riding high, feeling unstoppable, and the next, you’re grappling with challenges that seem insurmountable. It’s in these moments of adversity that we often learn the most about ourselves, about resilience, and about the importance of grace.

I loved being a business owner. From 2020 to 2022, I was at the top of my game, making more money than I ever had as a freelancer specializing in project management, operations, and as a Dubsado and ClickUp expert. I even ventured into coaching, offering 1:1 sessions and digital products. But by the end of 2022, I hit a wall. Burnout crept in, and I found it hard to focus on work.

I knew I needed to take a step back, so I decided to do less, rest more, and seek therapy. It helped, and soon, I was feeling more like myself. I even started to explore new business ideas. Then, early in 2024, my sister had a baby boy. If you know me, you know that being an aunt is my superpower. So, I went home to help her with the new baby. Watching my sister step into motherhood was an incredible experience, and for a while, everything felt right again.

But life had other plans. In a matter of months, everything I had worked for unraveled. I lost my business, my income, and I was left with debt. The wave of depression that followed was overwhelming. I couldn’t pay my subcontractors, clients withheld payments, and I felt like I was sinking in quicksand with no way out.

I tried disconnecting, hoping that a break would help me regain control. Classic avoidance, I know. But it didn’t work. I was exhausted, mentally drained, and unable to muster the energy to pick up the pieces. One of my contractors even threatened to blast me on social media if I didn’t pay them. At that point, I was so lost that I was almost ready to say, “Go ahead, I need the distraction.”

Eventually, I managed to pay them off, but by then, I was too depleted to jump back into work. For two weeks, all I did was eat, sleep, and exist. The quiet was intoxicating. No emails, no team, no clients—just peace. I was afraid that if I re-engaged, I would lose that feeling, so I didn’t. And suddenly, I found myself with no work, no clients, and no team. I had to face the reality that I was starting over from scratch.

I was angry. How could it all be over? I had worked so hard for years, and now it was gone. A few months later, I tried to pull myself together, but I was still mentally exhausted. Nothing seemed to work, and I felt like I was going through the motions without any real progress.

Then, a past client and an amazing coach called me. She gave me a pep talk that I desperately needed. As we talked, I realized that I was trying to pick up where things left off, but the truth was, I couldn’t. I was starting from scratch, and I had to give myself the grace and space to do that.

But how? How do you rebuild when you have nothing? Overdraft checking accounts, a zero balance in savings, no income—how do you start over when you feel so adrift and alone?

The answer didn’t come overnight. I had to remind myself daily: “Des, give yourself time. Things take time.” I started doing a challenge I saw on social media, where a young lady repeated, “My name is XX, and good things happen to me” every day. It felt silly at first, but after everything I had been through, I needed to believe that good things could still happen.

It’s been five months since I lost it all. I’ve lived, I’ve eaten, I’ve had a place to stay, and I’ve even left the country. But I’ve also gone without food and worried about where I would sleep. You might be expecting the end of this story to be a triumphant “I’ve figured it out, and things are going great!” But no, that’s not where I’m at.

I still have no idea what I’m doing or how I’ll survive to next month. But I do know that writing brings me joy, and journaling has been a lifeline. So, I thought, why not start a blog again? I don’t have anything better to do.

A friend recently asked how I was doing, and after I gave her the short version of my story, she sent me a link to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I think she was trying to remind me that even though I don’t feel like it, my psychological needs are still being met, and that it’s okay to need people and support.

Through all of this, I’ve learned a few things:

• Time is necessary: Give yourself time to figure things out. Nothing happens overnight.
• Grace is essential: Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
• Support is crucial: It’s hard to be creative or find work when you’re worried about basic needs. It’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay if not everyone is there for you.

I’m incredibly grateful for the people who have helped me—those who reminded me that I’m judging myself too harshly, those who gave me a place to stay or food to eat, those who simply listened.

Thank you.

If you’re facing a hard time right now, remember that becoming is hard, but give grace to the you that you are now. Appreciate where you are. Sometimes, we’re so caught up in how we want things to be that we miss how amazingly blessed we are in the now.

You’ve got this. You are capable of good things. This too shall pass.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” — Ecclesiastes 3:11

If you need help, please reach out:

• USA: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Canada: Crisis Services Canada – 1-833-456-4566

With all my love,
Des 💜

Resources

Articles on How to Handle Depression

1. “Dealing with Depression: 10 Self-Help Tips” – This article provides practical advice on how to manage depression through lifestyle changes, mindfulness, and self-care strategies.
   • Link: Dealing with Depression
2. “How to Cope with Depression: Strategies and Support” – This article offers a comprehensive guide on coping with depression, including seeking therapy, building a support network, and adopting healthy habits.
   • Link: Coping with Depression
3. “Understanding and Managing Depression: Tips for Daily Living” – This article explores daily management techniques for living with depression, emphasizing the importance of routine, exercise, and connecting with others.
   • Link: Managing Depression

Articles on How to Handle Identity Theft

1. “What to Do If Your Identity Is Stolen: 10 Steps to Take Right Away” – This article outlines the immediate actions you should take if you suspect your identity has been stolen, including contacting credit bureaus, filing a report, and monitoring your accounts.
   • Link: What to Do If Your Identity Is Stolen
2. “How to Recover from Identity Theft: A Step-by-Step Guide” – This detailed guide walks you through the recovery process after identity theft, including how to restore your credit and protect yourself from future incidents.
   • Link: Recovering from Identity Theft
3. “Identity Theft: How to Protect Yourself and What to Do if It Happens” – This article provides tips on preventing identity theft and detailed instructions on what to do if you become a victim.
   • Link: Protecting Yourself from Identity Theft